April 2024

To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.

-Proverbs 18:13

On a recent home communion visit, I was reminded by the friend I was visiting about the importance of intentionally listening. It seems that we rarely slow down enough to actually give another person our full attention these days. We are distracted by our to-do list, by the smartphone buzzing in our pocket, and by thinking about what we want to say that we are not truly present to the persons with us nor attentive to what they are trying to say. Despite all of our talking and blogging and posting, we do not seem to be getting much wiser or more understanding.

Moreover, we are missing out on the joy of deeper communion with a person when we fail to listen attentively. Every human soul is made in the very image of God, and so it stands to reason that we are also missing out on what God is trying to say. True, not all conversations are easy or pleasant, and there are certainly times when all we really need to do is convey information or clarify something.

But there are so many missed connections when we sit at a table and stare blankly into a screen instead of opening our ears and paying attention to the friend sitting across from us. I know this makes me sound like an old person (I am an old person), but it strikes me as tremendously sad and lonely when I see a table of people at a restaurant, and each one of them is scrolling or typing away on their phone instead of engaging each other. Do we have to be this busy; this distracted? Everyone is talking and creating content, but are we listening?

Proverbs 18:13 reminds us that answering before listening is foolish and shameful. I wonder if we have healthy roundtable discussions anymore, or if everyone seated there is already convinced in their own mind that they are right and everyone else is wrong without first seeking to understand other points of view. We can learn a thing or two from anyone and everyone. Arrogance stops up our ears while we are still running our mouths. Didn’t God give us only one mouth and TWO ears? Perhaps a healthy starting point is to speak only half as much as we listen.

This week, read the Bible in order to listen deeply to God. Then listen deeply to someone else’s story; seek to understand another person’s point of view. Who knows: we might learn something. Perhaps even I, your always-talking pastor, might learn to be quieter and still enough to understand something new.

Lord Jesus, have mercy on me. Lord Jesus, have mercy on us, your noisy kids.

In Christ’s grip,

Pastor Matthew